Hello Again...
Something I have realized lately is that it's really easy to be nice and positive to and about others yet we find it so difficult to do just that for ourselves. Why are we our own biggest critics? Why do we see ourselves as so much less than what others see us as? These are questions that I have been asking myself for a long time and I still haven't quite figured it out yet.
On a daily basis I can see girls and think oh wow they're pretty or anything positive, a compliment can pop into mind in the blink of an eye. But if I look in the mirror, then in that same blink of an eye moment so many flaws come to mind. I do not agree with bullying, I find it horrible and distasteful, so why do I allow myself to do exactly that to ME?? Because it's not hurting anyone else. No one besides me hears what I say to myself so it's fine. Reality check - it isn't! Far too many of us are way too quick to be down on ourselves and not see our full potential. I don't think I will ever be one of those girls that goes around boasting at how beautiful I am, that's just too conceited for my liking. But I have started to realize that there is nothing wrong in taking a compliment from someone and actually believing it. What girl doesn't want to hear that she looks pretty and actually feels like she really is? We all do. We all want that "boost" and there's nothing wrong with that.
If we think about it, there is always going to be someone better off than us and someone worse off than us. We can either put ourselves on a pedestal or we can put ourselves down and feel sorry for ourselves. It's so easy to do both. I'm pretty sure we have all had moments of doing both at some point in our lives. But instead of comparing ourselves to others we should rather look inwards. This goal of beauty and perfection that we all want isn't going to be found in the next person or on the TV screen or in the magazines we read. That will all give us a false sense of what we should be. We are all different and unique in our own special ways.
A day that I always remember is one of my first days at fashion college, in my illustration class, we were told to look for a girl preferably in swimwear or underwear because it would be better for us to draw her body form. I showed my lecturer the picture I had found and she kind of sniggered and said oh no she's definitely too fat. I remember thinking to myself, wow, well if she's too fat then what am I because she's tiny? For a long time afterwards I felt very uncomfortable in that class because I felt like I was being judged for who I was. I felt as if I needed to be super skinny in order to be accepted and it played on me for a long time. I found myself comparing how I looked to every image I was told to draw and I felt very inadequate. Am I a tall, stick thin model in a magazine? No! Are the tall stick think models really as perfect as we see them in the magazines? No! Does it still bother me about my body and things that have been said to me? Of course, very often. But it is up to me to hold onto it all or to let it go. It is way easier said than done, I know that and it is something I have to work on all the time but how can I expect someone else to love me if I don't love me? I can't rely on my boyfriend to make me feel good about myself all the time. It's unfair on him and it's also me basically saying to him that I just don't believe what he says to me when he tells me I'm pretty. He must tell me because he wants to and because he means it, not to try and give me a confidence boost because I'm feeling insecure. I love him for always making me feel beautiful and for always telling me that, I love him for moaning at me for shaking my head at him in denial. I love him for making me feel like I really should like what I see in the mirror, even if it's crazy hair when I wake up or the black rings under my eyes that he just "doesn't see".
I have a healthy body that's does everything it's meant to. Why should I care if I haven't got a toned tummy and a thigh gap. I am in perfect proportion with my height, size, shape, weight and body type. I should actually love my body more because of all my physical problems that prevent me from doing exercises and sports like I loved doing yet I am able to maintain myself how I'd like to be. I will always have my days where these things will bother me, but I am determined to love myself the way I am. I have so much to be grateful for in my life. It's about time I started showing that gratitude properly. I am glad that I am me, with all my strengths and weaknesses. And I am glad that I can change weaknesses into strengths and have a more positive outlook on who I am, where I've been and how everything in my life has shaped me into the young woman that I am today.
A day that I always remember is one of my first days at fashion college, in my illustration class, we were told to look for a girl preferably in swimwear or underwear because it would be better for us to draw her body form. I showed my lecturer the picture I had found and she kind of sniggered and said oh no she's definitely too fat. I remember thinking to myself, wow, well if she's too fat then what am I because she's tiny? For a long time afterwards I felt very uncomfortable in that class because I felt like I was being judged for who I was. I felt as if I needed to be super skinny in order to be accepted and it played on me for a long time. I found myself comparing how I looked to every image I was told to draw and I felt very inadequate. Am I a tall, stick thin model in a magazine? No! Are the tall stick think models really as perfect as we see them in the magazines? No! Does it still bother me about my body and things that have been said to me? Of course, very often. But it is up to me to hold onto it all or to let it go. It is way easier said than done, I know that and it is something I have to work on all the time but how can I expect someone else to love me if I don't love me? I can't rely on my boyfriend to make me feel good about myself all the time. It's unfair on him and it's also me basically saying to him that I just don't believe what he says to me when he tells me I'm pretty. He must tell me because he wants to and because he means it, not to try and give me a confidence boost because I'm feeling insecure. I love him for always making me feel beautiful and for always telling me that, I love him for moaning at me for shaking my head at him in denial. I love him for making me feel like I really should like what I see in the mirror, even if it's crazy hair when I wake up or the black rings under my eyes that he just "doesn't see".
I have a healthy body that's does everything it's meant to. Why should I care if I haven't got a toned tummy and a thigh gap. I am in perfect proportion with my height, size, shape, weight and body type. I should actually love my body more because of all my physical problems that prevent me from doing exercises and sports like I loved doing yet I am able to maintain myself how I'd like to be. I will always have my days where these things will bother me, but I am determined to love myself the way I am. I have so much to be grateful for in my life. It's about time I started showing that gratitude properly. I am glad that I am me, with all my strengths and weaknesses. And I am glad that I can change weaknesses into strengths and have a more positive outlook on who I am, where I've been and how everything in my life has shaped me into the young woman that I am today.
Life should be a happy thing, we should spend more time smiling, not only at others but at ourselves and at life in general.
Until next time,
Xoxo
